In the lead up to retirement this is a question that should be asked, but as couples get caught up in the planning and excitement of retirement they fail to consider if it really should be a combined event.

There are arguments for both sides—if you retire at the same time you can immediately start enjoying a new lifestyle together. On the other hand, are you ready to be in each other’s pockets if you’re used to a certain level of independence?

For some, the emotional upheaval caused by retirement can be tough. After years of receiving validation through their work they’re suddenly at a loss with how to maintain their self-worth, uphold their relevancy and build connections. While others take to retirement like a duck to water and find life more satisfying than ever before.

But how do you know how you will react in retirement? And importantly, how can you gauge how you and your partner will work as a couple in a new retired world?

If you’ve survived raising the kids unscathed and built a new, stronger couple dynamic then you might be confident that a combined retirement plan will work for you. Good dynamic or not, it’s worthwhile asking yourselves a few questions.

What kind of couple are you?

Are you inseparable with joint hobbies and matching work out gear, or have you cultivated independent interests and like spending some time apart? Decide if your unique couple style is going to work when you’re both in the house full-time or would it be better for one of you to transition into retirement slowly.

What big plans do you have for the first years of your retirement?

Does one of you want to relax at first and concentrate on the veggie garden while the other wants to immediately travel and seek new experiences? Consider if your retirement timeline and vision are in sync and, if not, discuss how much you’re willing to compromise or think about a staggered retirement to keep you both happy.

Will one of you need hand holding?

Are you already part of numerous interest and friendship groups that can’t wait to take advantage of your open schedule or is this something you need to create? Honestly assess how much support  you’ll need to give each other when finding a new network and sense of self and decide if this will be helped or hindered by retiring together.

It’s also important to consider how retiring at different times may affect your relationship.

How will you feel if only one of you is still working?

Will there be resentment directed to the person who has the day to themselves or to the person still being validated by their job? Will there be jealousy towards the partner with more spare time or for the one still enjoying the social aspects of work? If these feelings are likely to crop up it’s best to talk about it now and decide how you can time your retirement to work for both of you.

There isn’t just one way to retire. Every couple has different levels of independence, aspirations and social connectedness—only you can decide what will work for your relationship. If you do need help planning the best way to retire it’s a great idea to get some expert advice. Give us a call on 1300 033 166 and kick off the right plan for your future.